SENT HOME: Broken Homes and a Bigger Jesus

There is a statistic that gets thrown around in church circles that sounds almost too good to be true: 82% of people who do not attend church say they would come if a friend simply invited them. That number is staggering. It means the single greatest barrier between your neighbor and a life-changing encounter with Jesus may not be theology, doctrine, or programming. It may simply be an invitation. But before we talk about reaching outward, we need to talk about what is happening inside—inside our homes, marriages, and the quiet places where we thought life would look different by now. Because here is the truth nobody puts on a greeting card: every home, every family, and every marriage will experience brokenness. The question is not whether the storm comes, but what we do when it arrives. Maybe you desired marriage but are still single and feel forgotten. Maybe you were excited about marriage and are now miserable in it. Maybe your spouse has hurt you, failed you, or left you. Maybe you wanted children and it has not happened as you hoped. Maybe rebellious children have turned your home upside down, or your family feels fractured beyond repair. If any of those land close to home, you are not alone—and you are not outside the reach of a God who meets people in exactly these places.

In John 11, we find a family Jesus loved deeply: Lazarus, Mary, and Martha. And yet Lazarus became gravely ill. The sisters sent word to Jesus: “The one you love is dying. Come now.” Jesus received the message, and then He waited two more days. By the time He arrived, Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days. The situation was not just bad. It was finished. Martha met Jesus on the road and said what many of us have thought but rarely said out loud: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Sound familiar? Jesus did not rebuke her or offer an explanation that satisfied her grief. Instead, he reoriented everything: “I am the resurrection and the life.” Jesus was not simply announcing a miracle; he was declaring His identity. He is the source of life itself, the authority over death, the tomb, and everything that feels permanent, final, and beyond fixing.

And then, in one of the most tender moments in all of Scripture, Jesus wept. He stood at the tomb of his friend, surrounded by grieving people, and entered into their sorrow. He did not stand at a distance and offer comfort from afar. He grieved with them. This is the God we serve—not a distant, emotionless force who watches our pain with indifference, but a God who weeps with us and enters the cemetery of our lives. Then Jesus said something that must have seemed absurd: “Take away the stone.” Martha pointed out the obvious. Lazarus had been dead for four days. There would be an odor. In other words, this is too far gone. It is too late. But there is no obstacle that keeps Jesus from doing what he intends to do. The stone was moved, and Jesus called out, “Lazarus, come out.” And the man who had been dead walked out of the tomb.

Here is the central truth worth sitting with: the brokenness in our homes is not the end of the story. It may be the very place where we are invited to encounter a Jesus who is bigger than we thought he was. When life is running smoothly, we drift. We stop praying with urgency, stop searching Scripture with hunger, and stop leaning on God because we feel like we can manage on our own. But when the bottom falls out—when the marriage is in crisis, the child is in rebellion, or the loneliness becomes unbearable—we find ourselves tethered back to the only One who can actually help. That is not a punishment. That is a grace. The question worth asking is not simply, “Why is this happening to me?” but, “Lord, what do you want me to see about you that I could not see before this?” Martha’s answer is the one worth borrowing: “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God.” Not a triumphant declaration made from a place of comfort, but a surrender made from a place of loss.

Remember: The brokenness in your home is not the final word. But it may be the very thing that leads you to the One who is.

TRANSFORMATION GROUP GUIDE: Broken Homes and a Bigger Jesus
Series: Sent Home | Week on Broken Homes


OPENING QUESTION

Think back to a TV show or movie that portrayed a family dealing with real struggles. What made that portrayal feel honest or relatable? How does that compare to what we often expect family life to look like?

KEY TAKEAWAYS

These are the central truths from this week's sermon. Use them as anchors throughout your discussion.

1. Every home will experience brokenness. No family, marriage, or home is exempt from seasons of difficulty. Some brokenness comes from sinful decisions, and some simply comes from living in a broken world.

2. Brokenness is not the end of the story. The central message of the sermon was this: the brokenness in our homes is there so that we might experience and see a bigger Jesus. Difficulty is not a sign of God's absence. It is often the very place where God does his most significant work.

3. Jesus does the unexpected. Throughout John 11, Jesus consistently acted in ways that no one anticipated. He stayed two extra days. He wept. He called a dead man out of a tomb. Our agenda for how God should fix things is rarely his agenda.

4. Jesus grieves with us. John 11:35 reminds us that Jesus wept alongside those who were hurting. He is not a distant or emotionless God. He enters into our pain with us.

5. Jesus is the resurrection and the life. His I Am statement in John 11:25 is not simply a theological claim. It is a personal invitation to trust him as the only one who can bring life where things feel dead.

6. He is a Savior, not a genie. Jesus is not primarily a provider of comfortable circumstances. He is the Savior who defeated death. We must learn to value His salvation above his earthly provisions.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Read John 11:1-6 together. Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha, yet He waited two days before going to them. 

• What does this reveal about how Jesus responds to our crises? 
• How does that challenge or comfort you?

Both Martha and Mary said the same thing to Jesus when they saw him: "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." 

• Have you ever prayed something similar to God? 
• What does it feel like to voice that kind of disappointment directly to Him?

In John 11:25-26, Jesus makes the I Am statement: "I am the resurrection and the life." 

• What does it mean that He did not say He was simply the one who resurrects, but that He is the resurrection itself? 
• How does that distinction matter for the way we bring our broken situations to Him?

In John 11:35, Jesus wept even though He knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. 

• What does this tell us about how God views our grief and pain? 
• How does it change the way you think about bringing your struggles to Him?

The crowd in verse 37 questioned whether Jesus could have prevented Lazarus from dying. The sermon pointed out that the enemy often whispers, "He can't do that." 

• How do we fight back against that lie? 
• What truth anchors you when you feel like God cannot or will not break through?

GOING DEEPER

The sermon described the brokenness in our homes as something that can drive us toward a deeper experience with Jesus rather than away from Him. 

• Has there been a season of difficulty in your home or family that ultimately drew you closer to God? 
• What did that look like?

Pastor Josh asked, "When is the last time you sat with Jesus and waited for Him to show up rather than trying to fix everything yourself?" 

• How honest is that question for you right now? 
• What does it look like practically to wait on the Lord in the middle of a broken situation?

The sermon drew a distinction between a home that includes Jesus and a home where Jesus is at the center. 

• What is the difference between those two things? 
• Which one more accurately describes your home right now?

Lazarus means "who God helps." The sermon pointed out that his name was a declaration of humility and dependence. 

• What would it look like for your family to live with that kind of posture, one that says, "We are people whom God helps”?

Pastor Josh shared that brokenness often keeps us tethered to God in ways that comfort and ease do not. 

• Do you agree with that observation? 
• How have you seen it play out in your own life or in the lives of people around you?

HONEST REFLECTION

In the sermon, Pastor Josh named specific situations that many people carry quietly. Read through the following list slowly. Encourage group members to sit with any that feel personal rather than rushing past them.

• You desire marriage but remain single and feel forgotten
• You are in a marriage that feels broken or joyless
• Your spouse has hurt, failed, or left you
• You wanted children and it has not happened the way you hoped
• Your children are struggling, rebellious, or far from God
• Your home does not feel peaceful
• You feel like you have failed as a parent or spouse
• You have grown cynical or resentful toward God
• You are carrying grief or loss that has not been fully processed

Is there one of these you would be willing to name out loud so the group can pray for you specifically?

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

Choose one or two of these to commit to before your next gathering.
1. Catalog the goodness of God. The sermon noted that Jesus gave thanks before the miracle, recalling that the Father always heard him. Start a simple list this week of moments when you have seen God show up in your life or family. Return to that list when the enemy whispers that he cannot or will not act.

2. Grieve with God, not apart from him. If you are in a season of loss or pain, resist the temptation to process it in isolation. Set aside time this week to bring your grief directly to God in prayer or in your journal. Be honest. He already knows.

3. Surrender the story. Identify one area of your home or family where you have been writing your own agenda rather than submitting to God's. Write it down. Pray over it specifically, releasing it to the Lord and asking him to write the story his way.

4. Invite someone. The sermon opened with a challenge connected to Trunk or Treat, rooted in the truth that 82 percent of unchurched people say they would come to church if a friend invited them. This week, ask God to lay a name or face on your heart. Then make the invitation.

5. Read together. If your group wants to go further, consider reading "A Grace Disguised" by Jerry Sitzer, referenced in the sermon. It is a powerful account of grieving with God through profound loss.

CLOSING PRAYER

Close your time by praying specifically over the broken places that were named in the group. Ask God to be bigger in each situation than anyone expects. Use the words of Martha as a guide:

"Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world." (John 11:27)

Pray that belief over every home represented in your group.

MEMORY VERSE FOR THE WEEK

Reflect on John 11:25 this week. Jesus declares that he is the resurrection and the life, and that whoever believes in him will live even through death. Sit with what it means that life itself is not a gift he gives but a reality he is.