SENT HOME: Making Your Home a Place of Abiding

There is a question worth sitting with before the noise of the day takes over: How is it with your soul? And then, a step further, how is it at home? Is your home peaceful or chaotic? Is there rest or tension? Is it a place where something spiritually alive can grow, or simply a place you endure? Scripture holds out a vision far greater than occasional quiet moments with the Lord tucked between life’s demands. The vision is **abiding**. In John 15, Jesus says, “Abide in me and I in you,” reminding us that “apart from me, you can do nothing.” The Greek word _meno_ means to stay, remain, and dwell—not temporarily, but permanently. The same root appears in John 14:23, where Jesus says the Father and Son will “make their home” with the one who loves Him and keeps His word. To abide in Christ is to make Him our home and to let Him make His home in us. This is not a discipline to check off a list; it is a way of life.

Before abiding becomes a practice, it must become a response to the love of God. In John 15:9, Jesus says, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love.” The Father’s love for the Son is complete, infinite, eternal, and full of delight—and Jesus says He loves us with that same love. For those who are in Christ, His love is not rooted in our performance but in what Christ has already accomplished. Romans 5:8 reminds us that God demonstrated His love while we were still sinners. This love does not demand that we clean ourselves up before drawing near; it comes first. Jesus also makes abiding practical: “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love” (John 15:10). His commandments are found in His Word. We cannot abide with someone we do not know, and we cannot know Him apart from Scripture. Let God’s Word become part of the rhythm of your home—write verses on note cards, place them on walls and mirrors, read before reaching for your phone, and meditate on His truth morning and night. Jesus tells us in verse 11 that He speaks these things so His joy may be in us and our joy may be full. Abiding produces a deep, settled joy that holds even through difficult seasons.

If abiding is the goal, then the home becomes the context. Two words help us consider the spiritual atmosphere of our space: **sacred** and **holy**. Sacred means set apart, making room for God. Moses met with God face to face in a tent; it was not the craftsmanship that made it sacred, but the presence of God. Sacred is not about aesthetics; it is about making room. Holy means set apart for God. What fills our homes shapes their spiritual atmosphere. What we watch, listen to, and dwell upon either opens or closes the door to abiding. Holiness is not about perfection; it is about direction. Our homes do not need to look perfect to become places where God is welcomed. They need to be spaces where His presence is sought and His Word is valued.

Here is where it all lands: if you want your home to become a place of abiding, you cannot manufacture that on your own. Jesus said it plainly: apart from Him, we can do nothing. The starting point is not a new routine or a redecorated corner; **the starting point is surrender**. It is coming to the Lord and asking Him to do what only He can do. Our homes become places of abiding when we become people of abiding, and we become people of abiding when we are captured by the love of the One who calls us to remain. Abide in that love. Remain in it. Let it be the foundation your home is built on.

TRANSFORMATION GROUP GUIDE: Establishing Your Home as a Place of Abiding
John 15:1-11

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Abiding is not a scheduled event — it is a permanent dwelling. The Greek word for abide, meno, means to stay, remain, and make a home. Jesus is not calling us to a daily quiet time block and nothing more. He is calling us into a permanent, active, ongoing relationship with Him.

2. Apart from Christ, we can do nothing fruitful. In John 15:5, Jesus makes it plain that any effort to produce lasting, God-glorifying fruit outside of abiding in Him is futile. This includes efforts to build a home, raise a family, or lead others.

3. The love of the Father for the Son is the same love Christ has for us. John 15:9 is the anchor of this passage. Jesus tells His disciples that He loves them the same way the Father loves Him — completely, infinitely, and eternally. That love is the foundation and the motivation for abiding.

4. Obedience to God's Word is the pathway to abiding. Jesus connects keeping His commandments directly to remaining in His love (John 15:10). We cannot abide with someone we do not know, and we cannot know Him apart from His Word.

5. Our homes can and should become places where abiding is possible. The same root word used for abide in John 15 is used as a noun in John 14:23, where Jesus says the Father and Son will come and make their home with us. The physical spaces where we live can either hinder or help cultivate a life of abiding.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Describe your home growing up.

• Was it a peaceful place?
• A chaotic one?
• How did that environment shape you spiritually?

Describe your current “scared space."

• Do you have a space set aside where you meet with God?
• What makes it work for you?

GOING DEEPER

Pastor Josh  described abiding as not wanting the time with Jesus to end, the way he felt on his first long date with his wife. 

• How does that picture of abiding compare to how you currently experience time with God?

Read John 15:4-5 together. Pastor Josh listed things a person can attempt to do without abiding in Christ — earning a living, raising a family, even pastoring a church. 

• Why is it possible to do so many good things without abiding? 
• What is missing when we do?

Read John 14:23. The same Greek root word is used for both "home" in this verse and "abide" in John 15. 

• What does it mean to you personally that God wants to make His home with you, and that He is inviting you to make your home in Him?

Pastor Josh said: "As much as the Father has loved me, I love you." He then connected that to Jesus' baptism in Matthew 3, where the Father says of the Son, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." 

• How does it change the way you approach abiding when you consider that Jesus says those same words over you?

John 15:10 connects keeping God's commandments to abiding in His love. 

• What is the relationship between reading Scripture and abiding? 
• What honestly gets in the way of your time in God's Word?

Pastor Josh drew a distinction between happiness and joy and offered this equation: abide plus obey equals joy. 

• Have you experienced that kind of joy? 
• What were the circumstances, and what was your relationship with God like during that season?

He described two key words for establishing a home as a place of abiding: sacred (making room for God) and holy (setting apart for God). 

• What is the difference between those two ideas, and which one feels more challenging for your household right now?
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GETTING HONEST

• Pastor Josh asked: "What are you attempting apart from Christ?" Take a moment to sit with that question. 
• Is there an area of your life — a relationship, a responsibility, a struggle — where you have been operating independently of God?

He also asked: "What would have to change for your home to become a place of abiding? 

• What would have to leave?
•  What would have to be introduced?" 

Share one honest answer with the group.

Pastor Josh mentioned that what we watch, listen to, and allow into our homes shapes the holiness of our households.

• Without going into unnecessary detail, are there things currently present in your home that are working against an environment of abiding?

PRACTICAL APPLICATION

Work through one or more of these individually or as a household before your next group meeting.

1. Find or create a sacred space. Identify one place in your home — a chair, a corner, a spot at the kitchen table — and begin consistently meeting with God there. The goal is not the space itself but the habit of returning to it.

2. Practice scripture before screens. For one week, commit to opening your Bible before opening your phone in the morning. Notice how it shapes the rest of your day.

3. Complete the Sent Home Worksheet. The worksheet is available in the Refuge app under the Sent Home section. Work through it individually or with your spouse. Use it to begin defining a vision for your home as a place of abiding.

4. Write God's Word on your home. Choose one verse that reflects what you want your home to be and put it somewhere visible. A note card on the bathroom mirror, a sticky note on the refrigerator, or a whiteboard in a common area can serve as a daily reminder of the vision.

5. Meditate on John 15:9. Spend five to ten minutes this week doing nothing other than sitting quietly and asking God to help you receive the truth that He loves you the way the Father loves the Son. Write down what comes to mind.

6. Pray together over your home. If you have a spouse or children, gather them and pray a simple prayer asking God to make your home a place of abiding. It does not need to be long or polished. It just needs to be honest.

CLOSING PRAYER

Close your group time by praying John 15:5 back to God together. Acknowledge that apart from Him, you can do nothing, and ask Him to do what only He can do — make your home a place where His presence dwells and where abiding becomes the rhythm of daily life.

MEMORY VERSE

John 15:9 — Jesus tells His disciples that just as the Father has loved Him, He has loved them, and calls them to remain in that love.